Alright, I love Cam and think he's hilarious but I dont think he's ever been more wrong on a subject than this. First off, you're actually only a nerd if you DIDN'T read the Harry Potter series. Like we were the prime target audience when the books started flying off the shelves. Let me just make it clear that if you didn't read Harry Potters or at least see the movies, then I don't think we can be friends. (Also anyone who didn't read the books should probably pretend this blog never happened) In saying that, here is the clear-cut power-ranking of the Hogwarts Houses.
1.)GRYFFINDOR: This is such an easy choice that it is almost unfair. Not only did they win the House Cup almost every year after Harry arrived, but they easily have the best mascot/color scheme. Put all the mascots out and have them fight and a lion easily destroys them all. Obviously, Harry was in this house so it has to be the best, but I think that even if you remove Harry from the conversation, Gryffindor still wins in a landslide. Hermoine and Ginny were the two hottest girls in Hogwarts and if you say differently than you're the worst type of person there is.* Oh yeah, and Harry totally saved the wizarding world by killing Voldemort and all of his horcruxes. NBD
2.)SLYTHERIN: This choice wasn't easy but Slytherin slithers (see what I did there) into the number 2 spot. Why? Because they were the enemy, and all good stories need a rival. Draco Malfoy is the epitome of a rival, and he played it well. Dude was so smooth with his slicked back white hair and his rich father who bought him everything he ever needed. By the way, have you seen the chicks in Slytherin? They are mysterious and dark, which is essentially the best thing you can ask for in a women and a lot of them also looked like girl versions of Draco with there petite bodies and blonde hair, so basically Slytherin was a poor man's Sweden.
3.)RAVENCLAW: I actually like Ravenclaw more than I do Slytherin, but I couldn't put them at number 2. They don't deserve it. Like, yeah they've got some cool members, like Luna Lovegood and Cho Chang (seriously, Rowling? Cool Asian name) but at the same time like how often were Ravenclaw's even necessary or worth mentioning. The only reason Lovegood was mentioned so much is that she was a sexy airhead, and I'm pretty sure her and Harry boned, but Rowling didn't put it in the book because it would stir up controversy. Anyway, Ravenclaw's are known to be smart, wise, and intellectual so in all honestly, I'd probably end up in Ravenclaw, but that doesn't put them any higher than number 3.
4.)HUFFLEPUFF: Like I have so many issues with Hufflepuff that it's almost unreal. Your mascot is a badger. COOL. When danger comes around, what are you going to do, dig a hole? (is that what badgers do?) And another thing, your name, it sounds like the three little pigs story. "I'll Hufflepuff your house down". Pretty sure thats how that story went. Okay, so one exception is Cedric Diggory who was in the Tri-wizard tournament with Harry and was pretty bad ass the whole time. But then he died, and returned as a vampire in the Twilight movies and now I can continue on hating Hufflepuff as much as a I ever did before.
*Ginny is easily the hottest chick at Hogwarts, regardless of what Cam says. I mean I know she was a ginger, but she was ridiculously smart/brave and was flawless on the Quidditch pitch.
PS- I'm gonna go cry myself to a nap now that I've devoted a half hour of my day to analyzing the houses of Hogwarts. And yet sometimes I wonder why girls aren't draped all over me...
CAM'S NOTE: What was definitely concluded here is that anybody who likes Hufflepuff should just go into their garage, turn their car on, rev the engine, and let the sweet carbon monoxide take you all the way down to Hell.
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