Role Playing

She has no idea how to use that syringe. 

If there is one thing in this world that I truly don't understand, it would have to be role playing. Not like LARPING, because everyone knows that shit is wayyyyyy beyond comprehension. But role playing in the place where the magic happens. Is MTV Cribs still on? Anyways, I just can't comprehend the likability of role playing. Never done it, never will. Like no, I don't want to see you dressed up as anything but yourself, because technically you are just putting more clothes on and thats confusing. All I want is to have my thirty seconds of glory and then roll over, fall asleep, and dream about pudding.

First of all, I don't understand why girls like to dress up like a teacher, or a nurse, or a firefighter. And second of all, do they have the credentials. Like if a girl dresses up like a teacher does she actually have to teach me something? Because I feel like the only things a girl who actually does role playing could teach is how to deep throat a banana and how to acquire STD's.

 And if a girl dresses up like a nurse, does she have to perform a physical on me? Is she licensed to do that? Because if I'm gonna be role playing with someone as a nurse, I want a real physical. Have sex with two birds with one stone. (I think that's the expression) Plus, nothing gets my mojo going like a girl cupping "my boys" and making me cough.

A firefighter is probably the most disconcerting though. Like do I actually have to start a fire for this girl to put out, because I don't think my mom would appreciate a fire inside the house. Is she properly trained to douse fires? I don't want to start this fire and have to put it out myself, because nothing gets me more flaccid than having to put out fires. True story.

I don't know. Maybe I'm missing out, but I don't think anything is sexy about me having to pretend to be a professor and a girl dressing up as a student and then me having sex with her. Like that HAS to break so many rules in the school's handbook and I don't know if I'm willing to risk my job as a professor to do that.