We'll see who's stupid when the aliens come and melt your face off your face (still probably him...)
Tom Cruise, you crazy. For some reason I get the feeling that he will not outlive this deal unfortunately. Scientology really got screwed over here. Scott Boras must have been his agent, because getting that contract for a guy of Cruise's age and mental status is quite the haul. I wonder if Scientology offered only a million year contract first? Tom must have taken that as a slap in the face. Who wouldn't? GTFO of here Scientology. Little fish trying to swim with the big sharks at the negotiation table.
I mean, he obviously locked down this billion year contract for his portrayal of himself in Austin Powers: Goldmember. That much we know. But I wonder if Scientology tried to include a club option for the billionth year for that abortion of a movie he called Knight and Day. Thank the lord he eventually signed the deal though. We really need him to fight those aliens. And if he battles those aliens as valiantly as he battles his homosexual urges, then we will be just fine in the end.*
* I wonder if the Scientologists know that the roles he plays in his movies like Mission Impossible are completely fictional. They have to, right? Because in reality, he is a twice divorced dwarf who takes crazy pills. Not exactly who I want defending the human race from "thetans" or whatever the hell Scientology is about.
Him and Travolta should just bone and get it over with. It's 2013 bro, nobody cares if you're gay. Except the South, Republicans, Jesus Freaks, Mormons, Muslims, and ...fuck it. A lot of people care, but not the sane Americans.
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