Getting Your Hair Cut

"I should probably be looking at this hair, instead of the camera. Fuck it"

So I just got back from getting my haircut. Literally the most productive thing I've done over winter break. I thought about it before I left my house and I couldn't remember the last time I put jeans on while the sun was shining. Some people call that "sad",  but I call it "sad". So I woke up today and was like hmm my hair sort of looks like a homeless persons hair, so I should get it cut. And I'm not like a normal male where one of my buddies can shave it all off. My hair is full and luscious and deserves expert care. But I hate getting my hair cut. I'd rather go on 100 first dates and go bowling 50 times than the one day I have to get my hair cut.

So I chose Supercuts as the place to get it cut. But it's ridiculous, I'm tired of living in a world where my haircuts can't be "super" and "pro" at the same time. (Reread that last sentence until you understand the joke, then move on) So my hatred for getting my hair cut starts immediately when I walk through the doors when one of the workers will ask "what can we do for you today?" Like uhh this is the place I come to buy new dildos, right? Obviously, I want a haircut lady. And I hate all the workers there, and it's not because they're ugly, even though they usually are, it's because they insist on talking to you the whole time. It's truly an introvert's worst nightmare. Like lady, I dont do small talk unless I'm trying to sleep with you, but I'm not because your hair is a weird color and you look like the computer whiz lady from "Criminal Minds". Why do they have to talk to me? I mean I'll pay extra for the hairdresser who is comfortable with silence. Then it hits you. You realize that this person is literally going to decide your confidence for the next 3 months. Your hair is vital to how good you feel and people who are important or famous that have a bad head of hair are running their lives into the ground.

Today, I got lucky. I got this semi attractive girl. (probably sleep with her if I had a few beers and she told me she was into sucking on toes) Anyways, she didn't kill me with the small talk and the final result of the haircut was solid. When I say solid, it basically means it looks  slightly better than if Michael J. Fox was to have cut my hair. But I paid my 15 dollars for a "boys regular" and I hightailed it out of there and got home before I could do anything more productive with my day . *slips back into sweatpants and blogs about unimportant things*