via barstoolsports.com
Hey Mike, sweet title. Oh, thanks, I'm hilarious. Now obviously this story broke yesterday and I'm a little late to the party, but I was off winning 165 tickets in the arcade and getting married to Jennifer Lawrence. But this whole story is ridiculous. Now, "Catfish" guy Nev Schulman is tweeting at Te'o telling him that he wants to get together with him and help him figure this out. This is just an elongated new episode of Punk'd right?
I'm so confused because all over Sportscenter, everyone is asking how his draft stock has fallen because of this story. Am I missing something? Is there a new evaluation at the NFL combine? "Okay so first you will run the 40 yard dash, then you will do your vertical leap test, then your going to talk to someone and you have to tell us if she is real or fake." Like the dude is still a great middle linebacker and will probably go on to have a great NFL career. Just because he doesn't date real chicks doesn't mean that he isn't a great player. GM Mike Kennedy sounds about right.
Anyways, I kind of think Te'o had the right idea here. Fake girlfriends are the best girlfriends. Like you don't have to hang out with them and watch "Pretty Little Liars" and you dont have to buy them things. And yeah, the whole fake dying of leukemia thing is pretty sketchy but whatever. By the way, the fake girl friend's name is Lennay Kekua. Phonetically sounds like leukemia. BOOM.
Lance Armstrong got away realllll easy btw. Hey Oprah, you think you could fit in Manti Te'o sometime this week? Fake dead girlfriend is apparently more interesting than Armstrong admitting things that we already knew. Go figure.
PS- Te'o is a gay guy, right? That's what I'm surmising.
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