Murderers love Bowling

                                      

Uhhhh bro, relax. You knocked 10 pins over with a giant ball.

Fuck bowling. I think the worst people in the world are the people that are good at bowling. Like it's just an obscure sport, and if your good at it, than you are probably just as obscure. To be honest, it's not really bowling that I hate, per se, it's more of the bowling alley. Even just the name. When is the last time something good has been associated with the word alley? The only things that happen in street alleys are drug deals and homeless people fucking, which is weird because that is basically what you see at the bowling alley too.

So as you people may have realized, I went bowling tonight. Lost to a girl. TWICE. But, to be honest I'm not that upset about it because as I have prefaced, I literally hate bowling. Here's the thing that really worried me. The people at the bowling alley were the weirdest fucking people ever. Like, have you ever been to a Laundromat? Well I have and I'm pretty sure everyone I saw at the Laundromat that one time was bowling tonight. So its basically a semi-athletic Laundromat. Just tonight I saw; a guy with yellow goggles, Sanjaya with a wrist brace, a dude with a tucked in t-shirt with no belt on, and a kid who rolled up only the sleeve of the arm of which he bowled. Thats murderer city right there folks. Chris Hansen should literally do an episode of "To Catch a Predator" in a bowling alley and he would catch at least 6 diddlers. Guaranteed.

But aside from the actual act of bowling, is anything better than the arcade at the bowling alley? People are gonna say "dude, thats so trashy and uncool." Oh really? Well swallow your pride a little bit, and see if you cant play the cyclone game, like, 5 times without smiling. Impossible. Game is addicting, and I totally won the jackpot. 350 tickets. I felt like a true American hero. Like that game is solely based on reaction time. I wish I had it on video tape so that I could send it into the NFL Combine and probably get drafted. NBD but KBD.

All in all, if your good at bowling, then you're probably a murderer, and if you are good at arcade games then you'll probably play in the NFL.

PS- If anyone was wondering, I bought two cap guns and a tootsie roll pop with my winnings. Prices for prizes (points for alliteration) are completely outlandish. I should have been treated like a king.