Sunday, February 3, 2013

A Real American Hero: Kai



Woah. This may be my favorite video of all time. I mean yeah that last line was depressing as fuck but Kai can be in my family anytime. Straight out of dogtown bro. First of all, there were so many different parts to his story. Like first some 300 pund guy rapes some 14 year old chick in the Virgin Islands, and then he pins some random guy with his car (freight train riders know you can't unpin that shit), then he grabs a woman and tries to hurt her and like my dude said, "a guy that big can snap a woman's neck like a pencil stick", so  then my homie Kai comes up and Smash SMAsh SAMASHs him with a hatchet, and then this dude just gets up and masturbates in front of a school. Talk about a full days work. I usually like to spread my felonies out over a week or so, not all in one day.

And then can we talk about what happened in the orchard. That story threw me for a loop. Kai was just walking past some orchard and some dude was beating his woman so Kai just beat him up? And bro, I love you but I didn't see any teeth marks on your hand, it just looked like you have been doing a lot of digging with your hands. But can I just say how I love how this dude pronounced "police". I had to listen to the video like six times before I knew what he was saying.

Quote of the year by Kai here, "no matter what you done, you deserve respect, even if you make mistakes, if you lovable, and it doesn't matter your looks, skills, age, size, or anything, your worth while. No one can ever take that away from you." WOAHHHHH. Pretty sure Ghandi tried to come up with something like that but was like shitttt Kai's got this shit on lock.

Anyway, this dude is a fucking hero and here are some of my favorite quotes:
"You know what, fuck is cool. That guy ain't. Shittt."
"Sophia, West Virginia. (Wink)"
"How old are you?    I can't call it"
"If you're fucking Jesus Christ, then I'll be the Anti-Christ man, like fuck that shit."
"This is like the biggest wave I've ever ridden in my life."

No doubt that he is this generations, William Wordsworth. Truly has a way with words. But seriously can we start a kickstarter for Kai so he can get a wet suit and a Maverick? Dude just wants to shred waves and he deserves to because hes a god damn American hero.

PS- Why is Kai walking around with a hatchet in the first place?

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