Where do I get one of those sweet bikes?
Would you be Amish if you had the opportunity? Yes. Amish people totally have the right idea with the whole no technology thing. I mean they really don't have to do shit. Manual Labor all day? Thats a breeze. Meanwhile I'm stuck here having to go to 3 classes everyday and then write all these hilarious blogs and have to wear normal clothes. Meanwhile, the Amish are just straight chillen in Pennsylvania learning how to milk cows and how to churn butter. Sign me the fuck up.
"But Mike, then you won't have any technology or cell phones or anything?" Yeah no shit. I hate that stuff. Like I'm using technology all the time, but that's only because I hate it. Like you know when you watch a tv show all the time just because you hate it? (Honey BooBoo) That's the way I feel about technology. Fuck it. Like every time I sign into facebook I have to see what that one girl from high school who I had one class with and what she's up to these days. I'll give you a hint, drugs and babies. OH, and to live in a world where I don't know when Kim Kardashian's baby is going to be born would be prime.
So after doing some journalistic research (Wikipedia) I came to find out that a lot of Amish people suffer from dwarfism. BOOM. Now I'm 5 foot 8 inches on a day where I put on my moms high heels (not that that happens often...) but if you send me to Amish village, I'm basically a giant. I'd be the center on the basketball team and I would just dominate everyone. Team name is obviously the Amish Wild Horses. Plus since I' the tallest one in town, I obviously get to fuck the hottest chick. That's just what happens when you are the tallest and most handsome one there. Sounds like a perfect life for me.
PS- They ride horses or ride in horse drawn carriages everywhere they go and thats like the best thing in the world for me, because I love wild horses.
PPS- Sign me up for that "Amish Mafia" show because I'm already introduced to technology and now I'm also Amish.
No comments:
Post a Comment