Having 5 Sisters is Weird

This picture has no relevance at all. But its a llama wearing a scarf...

Now as most of you readers probably know, I have 5 sisters. Well really 2 sisters and 3 half sisters, but most people actually don't laugh when I say I have 3.5 sisters. Whatever, I think that joke is hilarious. Anyways, I'm usually pretty negative with most of the stuff I write on this blog, and most people would think that having 5 sisters would be a negative thing. Well not so fast. How do you think I came to be one of the smoothest, well-dressed, metro-sexual cats out there. I didn't mean to just toot my own horn right there but toot fucking toot.

Now, when I was growing up, everyone told me I was either going to be a complete ladies man (I'm not) or a gay guy (also not) but instead I became a socially awkward introvert who laughs at my own jokes like 94% of the time. Whatever I think girls like the fact that I know I'm hilarious. Anyways, my favorite part about having so many older sisters is all the hand me downs I used to receive. Like, I was the prettiest girl in 3rd grade until everyone realized I was a guy. But in reality having 5 sisters helped the way I dressed. Like I wasn't allowed, much to my chagrin, to wear any swooshy pants past the 4th grade. I was pissed at the time, but 5th grade was the year I started dating chicks so yeah I guess it kind of worked. And everyone will say "well you didn't have anyone to spar with so you're obviously not tough." BULLSHIT. Fighting my older sisters was the hardest part of my childhood. Girls fight no holds barred. They bite, they claw, they stick their barbies up your ass. Not that I know that from personal experience or anything. So yeah, they prepared me for the real world. I mean I knew how to act in school since I had to play "school" like 6 hours a day. Probably why I stopped trying in school like 5 years too soon.

But I kind of feel bad for my dad here. Like he had 5 daughters before he finally had his favorite child (me). And I'm pretty sure that he would have just kept pumping out kids until he finally got a son. My dad did everything he could to make sure I didn't turn out to be gay. That sounds pretty insensitive but whatever. Like he wouldn't let anyone call me "Mikey" because he thought it sounded girly. So he settled on calling me "Scooter" for my entire life. Makes sense.

PS- Older sisters meant there were always hot friends roaming around my house. No one is hotter than your sisters childhood friend. That's a fact.