Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Left A "Large Quantity Of Fecal Matter" In A Hotel Lobby?

And after the party is the hotel lobby, and -- damn it, Ronnie.
Police arrested 31-year-old Ronnie Lee Warfield after he allegedly pulled down his pants in a Charleston, S.C. hotel lobby and defecated on the floor, WCIV reports.
When officers arrived at 3:45 a.m. on Sunday, they found a "large quantity of fecal matter" just outside the bathroom at the Francis Marion Hotel. WCIV reports:

An officer walked into the bathroom and found Warfield cleaning himself in one of the stalls; the door was open and he was exposed to anyone walking in, according to the report.
"I didn't mean to do it," Warfield reportedly told the officer. "I couldn't hold it."
The report states Warfield was detained once he had put his pants back on, and another officer talked to the hotel's night auditor about what she saw.
Warfield reportedly interrupted them, telling the hotel employee: "I can clean it up."

Instead, officers took him to jail on charges of public defecation and indecent exposure.

Ahhhh, the classic "I couldn't hold it so I shit all over the lobby of a hotel and got arrested Saturday night". If I had a nickel for every time I did this I would have exactly 0 nickels. Now don't get me wrong, I've shit my pants, and I've been in a hotel lobby, but I've never combined the two. I'm a little surprised that you can even get arrested for this. Like I get that he pulled his pants down and shit a "large quantity of fecal matter" on the floor but at least he had the decency to be in the process of cleaning it up. So hey Ronnie, I'm not a lawyer but I'd be more than willing to represent you in court. I can see it now, history books will talk about the two biggest cases of all time, "Roe vs. Wade" and "Ronnie Warfield vs. Pooping in the Hotel Lobby"