My 5 Biggest Pet Peeves

So earlier I went and got a coffee and as I was leaving, I held the door for some broad and she straight up snubbed me. No thank you, no nothing. So naturally I was heated and came up with my 5 biggest pet peeves. So basically if you are around me and do any of these things, I will hate you forever.

5. Guys who don't pee outside- Alright let me clarify here. I'm not saying that I pee outside every time I go to the bathroom, I'm just saying that given the oppurtunity to pee outside, I am 100 % choosing that option. We were born with firehoses for dicks, why not use them greatly.

4. People who don't wave when you let them go in a car- This sucks so bad. You're just being a good samaritan letting people go before you and they're all like nahhh I'm not going to thank you. Hope your involved in a karma car crash. Alliteration for the win.

3. People who blatantly talk in class- "Dude, you're such a nerd for saying that." Sorry I would rather listen to the teacher talk than to listen to your ridiculously made up story about how you saved your neighbors cat from getting hit by a car because you "sensed" that something bad was going to happen, so you went outside. All because you are trying to impress that not even hot girl because she had to sit next to you because there weren't any other seats open.

2. People who draw on me- This one is a little out there but whatever. Remember in middle school when girls would want to draw all over you and everyone thought it was cute because it meant they had a crush on you. Well not me. I never let anyone draw on me. Maybe thats why I don't have a tattoo. Or a girlfriend.

1. People who don't thank you for holding the door- Obviously this is the worst thing ever. It literally takes two seconds to just say thank you. I'm doing you a favor so why don't you thank me for it. Thats all I ask. Biggest power move ever is if a person doesn't thank you for holding the door for them, then you just say an unwarranted "You're welcome." If you don't think I do that 10 times out of 10, then you don't really know me as a person.