Caption Contest

 

I bet you he always uses DK when playing Mario Kart.

Scientists Say That Girls With Bigger Asses Are Smarter Than Everyone Else

PNS reporting from ENGLAND) Scientists at the University of Oxford have uncovered evidence that women with big butts are not only the most intelligent, but also the most resistant to chronic illnesses.
The study examined the fat accumulated in different parts of a woman’s body, and found that women with a phat ass were less likely to get diabetes, since they are more likely to produce hormones to metabolize sugar.
What’s more, women with big booties tended to have lower levels of cholesterol and less heart problems, according to the study.

So I guess big butts actually don't lie? My parents always told me to work hard and get a good job after college, but what they never told me is that if I work hard enough, I can be a scientist who measures girls butt's and compares them to their IQ. If I had known that this was a possibility I would have tried a little harder in school. I would love to think that this is true, but it cant be. Think of the two asses that come to mind first. Kim Kardashian and Vida Guerra for me. Now, I don't know for sure, but nothing about them screams, I have a higher IQ than you.

PS- If you don't think I am going to walk around in a lab coat asking to measure girls butts to find out if there is a correlation between the size of an ass and the size of their brain then you really don't understand me as a human being.

Leave it to Canada

Fucking Canada, eh? It takes a lot for me to laugh out loud at a video. You know when someone is like "OMG you HAVE to watch this video" and you're like nahhhh and then you have to fake laugh at parts that aren't even funny? That's the worst, but this, I lost it when the guy just goes, "Okay." This guy is just doing exactly what I would do in that situation, he's just along for the ride. His face at the end makes it look like this is the happiest he's ever been in his life. No idea why I thought that was so funny but it was. Probably because of sex motions.

Picture Of The Day

 

This guy is taking the blood sweat and beards mantra a little too seriously. The saddest thing about this is that this guy is a Cavaliers fan, and he prepared this for a Cavs-Wizards preseason game. That's some depressing shit right there. Gotta love the wristbands this guy has on though. Hmmm, I'm going to a preseason NBA game, what do I need? Beard net? Check. Hat for a team in the wrong sport? Check. Wristbands? Check. Alright, I'm ready to go. 

PS- Gotta respect that belt buckle. This guy takes his facial hair game serious. 

Guy Just Punches Shark In The Face

"A surfer on the Hawaiian island of Kauai claims to have used boxing skills to fend off an attacking shark that bit into his board, narrowly missing his leg.
Jeff Horton was surfing earlier this week at Pila’a Beach near Kilauea. He told the Garden Island that he saw the shark, presumably a tiger shark, swimming toward him as he sat on his board.
“It came flying straight toward me,” he said.
Upon impact, Horton rolled off of his board and onto the shark, which he briefly rode before unleashing a barrage of punches.
“I started punching as hard as I could,” he said, adding that he landed about eight blows and caused the shark to back off with a knuckle punch to the eye."

How about this fucking guy? I want to hate him for being such a bro, but I can't. If you hate this guy, than you are just jealous. He is living the life. All he does is surf, ride sharks, and punch sharks in the face. And how about how he said he landed 8 punches. Was he counting the punches as he was throwing them? I've lived near the ocean my entire life, but if I ever saw a shark swimming towards me it wouldn't be blood in the water that the shark would be smelling.

Send Out The Smoke Patrol On This High School Football Field

Imagine going to a High School like this? My High School football field looked like a barren wasteland where high school student's college football dreams went to die. The baseball field had more dead grass than the ground after a Wiz Kalifa concert. How amped up would you be running onto this field every Friday night, getting a big win over your high school rival, and then going to some kids house who's parents weren't home that weekend to get drunk off 4 bud lights, getting jerked off by some girl in the bathroom and then being home by curfew. Those were the days.

Guy Kicks 40 Yard Field Goal To Win New Chevy Camaro

Yahoo- Officials from the local Chevrolet dealership jumped for joy and tackled the 20-something in celebration before Igwe leapt up from the turf and sprinted to the arms of the Simi Valley football team, which was heading back out to the field, with only one shoe of course.

It all capped a remarkable promo event that marked a great California rivalry, and allowed Igwe to eschew the prescribed prize of a Chevy Camaro for a $20,000 cash prize, which he told USA Today he'll use to help pay off personal debt.

Holy fucking shit. That was amazing. A black kicker? I never thought I would see the day. Oh, you're talking about the 40 yard field goal and how that was soooo impressive? Not so fast my friend. I'm pretty sure that if you gave me a weeks notice I could drill a 40 yard field goal without my shoe flying off. And whats up with that anyways? Like bro, you're trying to win a new car by kicking a field goal. First step: tie your shoes. Second step: kick the ball. 

More importantly here, my favorite part of this story is how he just won a brand new 2014 Chevy Camaro and he just decides nahhh I'm not going to take it, give him the 20 grand so he can pay off his unpaid child support personal debts.